Monday, March 27th, 2017
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Election 2016

I have purposefully held off until the last few days of this election cycle to express my views. If you’ve been following my career for longer than a few months, you have long figured out that I am, according to the Democrat Party sycophants in the mainstream media, a mean-spirited, bigoted, narrow-minded, Bible-thumpin’, gun-totin’, flag-wavin’ phobic of many nouns. In which case, I am voting for Donald Trump. My reasons are:

1. The last American president who claimed to be conservative was nothing more than a member of the Beltway Establishment. There are conservatives—the morally superior George Will for one—who say they will not vote for The Donald because he is not a “true” conservative. Will says he’s voting for Hillary. That’s a “true” conservative for you. I say so what if The Donald isn’t true? We’ve seen what a supposedly true conservative will do and not do when he becomes president. I don’t trust the claims of any politician. Which leads me to…

2. The Donald isn’t a politician. He’s a businessman, an entertainer, a comedian. He’s held real jobs. He’s created jobs. He understands a profit-and-loss statement. He’s been up, and he’s been down, and he’s been up again. I don’t trust most folks these days unless they’re dumb biblical fundamentalists like me, but I trust people who’ve held real jobs before I trust people who haven’t, people who’ve made their living off raising my taxes.

3. If Hillary is elected, she has already sent STRONG signals that she will use the Supreme Court to attack religious liberty, freedom of speech, and my right to shoot someone who has invaded the sanctity of my home. If The Donald is elected, NONE of my Constitutional liberties are threatened.

4. A very naïve young person—yes, I’m talking about you, Nathan—recently told me he can’t vote for Trump because of his talk about and possible groping of women. He’s a Republican, so he’s going to vote for Gary Johnson, the Libertarian. Johnson’s only real claim to libertarianism is he smokes pot. I don’t care if someone smokes pot as long as they don't drive or try to perform brain surgery afterwards. But if the president someday has to decide whether the blips on the radar screens are Iraqi ICBMs or not, I don’t want him to be stoned. The Donald doesn’t even drink. Groper or doper? Let’s see…Groper!

5. “Oh, he’s so rude!” some people have told me. Yeah? Yeah? Let me tell you that as a somewhat well-known individual, I have had numerous opportunities to meet very well-known persons up close and personal. I met Bill and Hillary in the breakfast room of a B ‘n’ B in 1991. There were four people in the room. By far, the rudest most narcissistic person I’ve ever met in my life is Hillary Clinton. Take my word for it. Next in line is Oprah Winfrey, a complete fake. Next in line is Michael J. Fox. Sorry if I just burst someone’s bubble, but let me assure you The Donald doesn’t even come close. Besides, people I know who know him have told me he is, in private (unlike the above 3, all of whom I met in private), humble, self-effacing, and most gracious.

6. The Donald has a sense of humor. Hillary has none.

7. Hillary, as we are learning (yet more damning stuff came out today), is a sociopath, a liar, a criminal. I am told The Donald has a tremendous capacity to laugh at himself. That is not consistent with sociopathy.

I’m voting for Donald Trump. If you don’t, then you cannot come to my birthday party.

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