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People are Talking
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Below are recent feedback and comments from emails and our former guestbook. John Rosemond thanks everyone for their thoughts and support. He is truly touched by all of the comments. Thanks for reading!
1/20/10 (In reference to Parenting by the Book.)
I read this book a year ago. After 8 years of therapy, books, and classes at the
college regarding chidren, this book was by far the best advice I have ever had! I
have 2 girls; 14 and 12 years old. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction
(the Bible) finally, after years of wondering what I was doing wrong. After I read
your book I realized it was what I WASN'T doing...providing a spiritual foudation
for my family. We (I) have alot of work left to do to get my family on the track,
but now I have direction. Your book was an interesting read also; very
"beginner-friendly." Thank You. I look forward to reading more.
Name Withheld for privacy
12/26/09
This is a long overdue thank you letter from a very grateful mother of three sons. I
happened to read your column this week on kids needing to learn it's not all about
them, and realized I REALLY needed to write! In particular I needed to write as I
just spent another horrendous Christmas party with my brothers' spoiled brat
children, and recognized how appreciative I am of my own kids.
Over thirty years my husband I found your books and were hooked. I also had the
opportunity to attend one of your lectures in my local community many years
ago. I have to admit we were probably a natural audience, as we live an alternative
lifestyle outside the typical American consumer culture already, but we were
determined to not fall into the "anything for the kids" trap. As our family grew to
three sons it became very apparent why it was so important that we stay out of that
trap! Raising three kids, especially three sons, is certainly not easy, and at times
it took a tremendous amount of work to stay focused on the marriage rather than the
kids.
Our kids attended public (albeit rural elementary) schools, are/were always expected
to contribute around the house (and in our case that included caring for livestock,
gardens, and doing LOTS of major home and auto repairs), participated in only one
sports activity a year, but also took music lessons, are all Eagle Scouts, are/were
very active in community service projects, and were solid members of our church
youth groups. We've never visited Disneyland, but have camped all over the U.S. and
Canada.
Although life and circumstances have changed a great deal since we were able to pay
our own way through college while taking care of our own health and auto insurance
and car payments, they are very independent, talented, incredibly compassionate
members of society. They are tolerant, gentle, inuitive, yet quite
practically-oriented young men, who are both respectful towards and appreciative of
the women in their lives. Almost universally they see little value in competitive
sports or sporting events. Unfortunately they've also encountered an enormous amount
of flak along the way as even their aunts/uncles/cousins as well as school friends
have not appreciated their noncoformist viewpoints and outlooks. I've learned not to
become defensive - I believe the product speaks for itself.
So, I would like to think that they are the ones who will keep this country going
through good times and bad. I hope that is the case. I also hope they will raise
their own children in like manner someday! And so I (we) very much appreciate your
guidance and lifelong work. Keep it up!
Anonymous Reader
10/26/09
Dear Mr. Rosemond,
Thanks in part to implementing various parenting principles you’ve
discussed over the years our son, Jarod, recently achieved the rank of Eagle
Scout at age 14. I have read several of your books and had the opportunity
to hear you speak at the local High School many years ago (my smile muscles
actually ached!). We never rewarded our children for a good report card
nor hovered while they did their homework causing them to be internally
driven to excel. Both of our children (9th and 11th grade) receive straight A’
s in their classes (which are all honors level) and are just super neat
kids. I could provide numerous illustrations of how your writings have
assisted in parenting (limiting TV and extra curricular activities come to
mind), but I’ll spare you. I wish more people would get off the psychobabble
wagon (of note, I have my Master of Science in Psychology and am a substitute
teacher). So anyway, thank you for your words of wisdom.
Sincerely,
Cheryl
7/3/09
Book Review - Barna Group - www.barna.org
Book: Parenting by The Book: Biblical Wisdom for Raising Children
7/7/09
Dayton Daily News - Column by Darci Jordan
5/30/09
I had only read your 5/26 column & was about to comment, but when I got onto your
website, I had to read all the columns from April, forward. I am the mother of eight
children. I just want to say, "Stick to your guns, John!" So very, very many people
need to hear what you are saying.
Thanks for great common sense info.
4/19/09
Ben hansen, aka Dr. Bonkers, is a crusader for sanity in the mental health
professions as well as the founder and evil genius behind The Bonkers
Institute for Nearly Genuine Research. For more information and lots of laughs,
go to _www.bonkersinstitute.org_ (http://www.bonkersinstitute.org) . Dr. Ben
recently published this comment on John's and Dr. Bose Ravenel's book,
"The Diseasing of America's Children."
"Recently I finished my copy of John Rosemond and Bose Ravenel's book,
"The Diseasing of America's Children: Exposing the ADHD Fiasco and
Empowering Parents to Take Back Control." I've read a lot of books on the
subject,
and this is surely one of the best. The authors not only attack and
effectively demolish the
fraudulent pseudoscience behind ADHD and its treatment, but they also
offer very good, wise, funny, and helpful advice to parents facing the
difficult task of raising children. To any parent worried about their
child's mental health, I'll say this: If you read only one book, read
this one.
Kudos to Dr. Bose Ravenel and John Rosemond!"
3/25/09
After reading your recent column about parenting, I felt the need to share something
with you. After my job was eliminated in 1995, I started working from home. At the
time my daughter was 11 and my son was 8. I had a home office (which they were not
allowed to enter). When I was working and they were home it was horrible. They
would argue and fuss at each other and then come knocking on the door wanting me to
referee. I saw a book of yours at the local library and thought maybe there was
something in there that might help.
After reading the book, I told the children that from now on, if they came to the
door with a dispute when I was working, I would listen to each side and then they
would both be punished equally. I told them they would have to learn to settle
their arguments themselves. The next day they came knocking at the door and I
reminded them of the new way of handling this, but they insisted on telling me. I
listened to each of them and then sent them to their rooms with instructions that
they were to sit on their beds for ten minutes (with no talking or yelling between
the rooms) and I would let them know when ten minutes was up. Ten minutes later,
they were both asleep! The next day, they came to the room when I was working and
I reiterated that if I had to listen to both sides, they would both be punished.
After some hushed whispering, my daughter said "we will settle it ourselves". I
used this procedure throughout the rest of their childhood--and not just when I was working, but all the time. When they were older and started arguing with some decision my husband or I have made, sometimes one of them would say (usually my daughter) "can I make a statement?" I would agree with the stipulation that our decision would not change, but she could certainly make a statement.
My daughter asked to do something with a friend when she was in junior high and it
was some stupid thing (which escapes my memory at the moment!) and I said no. When
she told her friend, the friend called me and wanted to know why I said no! I
informed her that I did not have to give a reason because I'm the mother. She said
that her mother always gave her reasons for all of her decisions and I told her that
her mother was wrong to let her think that she was an adult and I did not have to
explain myself to her. That friend of my daughter's never questioned me again about
my decisions.
I also would not allow my children to have TVs in their bedrooms. They each had a
radio and a CD player when they were teenagers, but they were practically the only
kids we knew that did not have a media center in the rooms. That way I could
monitor what they were watching (at least when they were home!).
My children are now 24 and 21. My daughter recently graduated from college and wants to
teach. My son is in college with an eye toward something in music. They get
along great and are people who I really like to spend time with. I just wanted to
let you know that your book changed the way I parented (for the better). Thanks!
Mary S.
Carter Lake, Iowa
2/19/09
Hello,
I am a 47 year-old, happily married father of two young sons, 8 and 9. I must say,
in that 47 years, I have never been so absolutely "touched" by the pure common sense
that I have just read in your artcle "Parents invoke Agony Principle when they stand
up"! Being an older parent in this day, I was also raised by, and work extremely
hard to apply, the same "say what you mean and mean what you say" philosophy to my
children. And may I add, it is amazing how ADHD (lol) can be held in check with my
children believing in this same philosophy. Sir, Hooray to you! Old school does
live on and prosper. Thanks for our encouragement in a world gone nuts!
Glenn
Bradford Pa.
2/17/09
John,
I very much enjoyed your talk on Sunday at Raleigh First Assembly of God. I posted a blog about it and welcome a comment from you.
Kind regards,
Melissa Richards
2/11/09
Hi- I'm a big fan of John's and wanted to say a big thank you for guidance in the following situation that happened in our family. When my daughter was 3, because she was quiet, liked to line up her toys and watch herself run back & forth in front of a mirror, a family member recommended that we have her evaluated for autism. My husband & I stood firm insisting there
was nothing wrong with her, not wanting to get roped into a system of
doctors & counselors (I must confess that my husband stood firmer than I did). 14 months later, we have a happy 4 year old who chatters like a magpie constantly making up stories about her stuffed animals, singing songs, and existing in her wonderful world of make-do. Thanks for being a sensible voice to parents; your voice was most assuredly integral in saving my daughter from an almost certain misdiagnosis. My family certainly benefited from the work that you do.
Thanks and more thanks!
Charlotte
Herndon, VA
1/5/09
Letter in Northwest Florida Daily Newspaper printed on 1/5/09
Parental Rights
John Rosemond's counsel to parents trying to teach self control to
their children is not only refreshing but also full of common sense
(column, "A child does not learn self-control unless parents set
boundaries," Dec. 21). I just think of the wonderful tools that
parents have to shape and mold the character of their offspring,
especially when the motivation is sincere love and concern.
Our parental rights are under attack every day, mostly by well meaning
authorities who apply rules to the whole population when they are
trying to solve problems caused by a few.
I want to encourage your readers to visit www.parentalrights.org so
they can learn more about how they can protect their freedom to take
Dr. Rosemond's counsel, for the good of the children and our future
society.
Alma De Jesus
Niceville
Date of Email: 2/4/09
FANTASTIC!!!
I have worked at a Children's Clinic for 34 yrs. I worked for Dr. (name withheld) before he went to the health dept. Dr. (name withheld) loaned me his copy of the "ADHD" book. I am buying a copy for my daughter who has 5 children. She home schools and is a great mom but this is by far the best parenting book that I have read. Dr. Dobson helped me raise my girls but, gee, I wish I had this book during that time. You give us the history of this problem, the cause, and the solution. I am recommending it to all the parents that I am in contact with, and that is many. Thank you for taking the time to write such a profound book at such a time as this.
Date of Email: 1/6/09
Name: Susan
Comment:
As the mother of a very responsible and independent 29 yr old daughter, I say BRAVO
to the advice you share on parenting. Couldn't say it better myself. I only hope
your readers will take the advice and make it work for them. Thanks!
Date of Email: 12/10/08
Name: Karen
Comment:
Thank you for validating what my husband and I have been doing. Our two daughters are 15 and 18 and after the first 5 years (which were categorized by them being in control), we took control and "led" them. Consistency was key (not subterfuging each other's authority) as was ensuring they knew that the world did not revolve around them.
Unfortunately, I feel we are in the minority. I hear too many parents say "I can't do (fill in the blank) because my focus needs to be on my children." Unfortunately, too many parents take responsibility for their children in terms of homework (knowing what it is, when it is due, what's expected, etc.) and so there are way too many college students who are clueless about time management, and being organized. Thankfully our eldest who started college thisi year was well equipped to handle not only the course work but the various situations she was thrown into. I continue to be perplexed about how so much has changed in parenting in one generation. My mother, who was a stay-at-home mom, was never at our school except for Christmas pageants, etc. I feel blessed to have had great parents who showed me the way.
Date of Email:10/22/08
Name: Donna
Comment:
I live in Escondido California, and I receive the North County Times
each day and on Sunday. John's column is seen each Sunday. I love
it since I am a teacher and offer the column to parents of my
students. I am also a Mom of 3 delightful young adults, and often
read his column when they were wee folks. I think he is great...no
nonsense, but loving and direct...to the point. Thank you John for
continuing to validate my style of teaching and parenting.
Date of Email: 1/21/08
Name: Diana
Comment:
Thank you so much for your column regarding cruel behavior in children. I'd never heard anyone spell out the psychology of these actions in this way before. It was very helpful for me to read this. Sadly, many people are either too busy, uneducated about, or just choose to look the other way when such behavioral issues occur. THANK YOU for bringing light to the seriousness of this issue.
Please keep talking about this issue, not only for those committing the act but especially for the ones who've been targeted as the victims.
Date of Email: 10/18/07
Name: Michelle
Comment:
I attended your seminar last night in Ellington, CT. It is the third time I have heard you speak in CT. Fortunately, your topic each time been age (season) appropriate for my children.
My husband, who has attended 2 of your seminars, and I parent our teenage daughters together and we lead them with confidence. We are the center of our family and that often causes our children and some of our friends distress. It simply is not the norm in our particular community.
Your seminars, books, and weekly columns continue to confirm for us that we are on track in raising children that are not full of self-esteem, but that will eventually become humble, hardworking and contributing members of our society.
What I appreciate most of all is your sense of humor. You remind me to take a step back and laugh! :-)
Date of Email: 9/28/07
Name: Sarah
Comment:
I am a 30 year old mother of 3. I had my first child right after college (which I left with a degree in psychology) and I thought I knew everything I needed to know about raising a child. But, when
she turned 3 years old and I was pregnant with baby number 2 I knew something was terribly wrong. There was no question I loved my child but often the frustration was so unbearable I couldn't be around her. I was afraid of myself around her. She was miserable most of the time and so was I. Enter John Rosemond. I devoured "A Family of Value" and quickly read everything else you have written to date. Now, my family is a source of peace in my life. My children are happy too. They are calm and secure knowing their place in the family; knowing what to expect and what's expected of them. I often think about what kind of adults my children would have become had I not found your book and continued down the path I was on. Thank you for saving the future of my children!
Date of Email:8/23/07
Name: Kim
Comment:
Thank you SO much for the article on uniforms in schools. I've been saying that for years. I can't believe how weak so many parents are. I think dressing respectfully and appropriately for learning is the very foundation for acquiring a good education.
We visited Australia a few years ago and came upon some schoolgirls in their uniforms and matching hats. I had to take their picture. They were adorable, respectful and totally into their assignment which was to take notes on animals at the zoo where we found them, clipboards in
hand.
I am so scared for the future of America. Keep talking.
Date of Email: 8-6-07
Name: Jim & Betty
Comment:
My wife & I, both in our 70s, couldn`t agree more with your article on Parents Magazine. We both shake our heads when we read your articles and say, "It is a pleasure to read these articles",
because they are so "Right On" when it comes to modern child-rearing. Give us the good old days when there was respect for elders, people in authority & others' property.
Date of Email: 8-6-07
Name: Teresa
Comment:
A friend brought in your article regarding Parent Magazine's issue on "labeling" children. I was so pleased to laugh along with your thoughts and comments, as I found the original article outrageous when I read it directly in the magazine. As a matter of fact, I seem to recall I did not finish the article as I felt it totally ridiculous. I would have loved to have discussed a prior month's article regarding breast feeding - totally absurd! It is so nice in this day and age to feel I have an ally in parenting! Keep 'em coming.
Date of Email: 5-10-07
Name: Lawrence
Comment:
I am a retired Clinical Psychologist..who has worked with teens for over 40 years. Your evaluation of our troubled teens is right on. I have found that many teens will respond with respect when they encounter an adult who demands it. Enjoy your column. Thanks.
Date of Email: 5-3-07
Name: Hugh
Comment:
I appreciate your no nonsense approach to disciplining children. I always recommend your book "Parent Power" to parents of children turning 12 months. If I can get them reading by then, then they can start applying the ideals by the appropriate time. I agree with your opinion of the AAP even though I am a member. Thank you for your common sense approach.
Date of Email: 4-25-07
Name: Cullen
Comment:
Love, love, love your column. I am a 23 year-old father of none, but a lot of the parenting I witness is not just "bad", it's completely ineffective. It's painful to see a child develop into a rotten, self-centered human being when it doesn't have to be that way. I recommend your column to my friends that have young children, and I am writing a letter to the editor of my local paper telling them how much we need wisdom like yours (lest all the wisdom on earth die with the older generations).
Date of Email: 4-24-07
Name: Kristi
Comment:
As an educator, I want to express my extreme appreciation to Mr. Rosemond for his Parenting column entitled, "Guide helps teachers deal with parents". I have been in this profession for twenty years, teaching both in the U.S. and abroad, and things seem similar in many ways. I have had wonderful, wonderful children in class regardless of economic background, race, home situations, etc., some awesome parents, some effective administrators, and extraordinary colleagues.
Unfortunately, there are parents who I feel are doing their children a great disservice by acting the way they do. If I leave this profession early, it will be because of overloaded frustration with some parents, and never because of the children and 'how they are coming to school'.
Back to the intent of my e-mail, I agree passionately with every word of Mr. Rosemond's column and if that helps one parent or one teacher ( I know it helped me because it confirmed what I often feel when confrontational parents walk through the doors.), we can hope it has a ripple effect.
Date of Email: 4-21-07
Name: Sue
Comment:
John Rosemond's column appears weekly in our Wellbeing magazine inserted into our
Saturday newspaper. This paper is the Bradenton Herald, Bradenton, Florida. I am a 62 year old woman with a daughter nearly 40. I have no grandchildren. Yet, I look forward to John's column every week. He speaks with such clarity and common sense that I personally find refreshing. Every time I read each column I find myself thinking, "Right on!" and "absolutely" and "You tell them, John!"
So many parents these days are so busy trying to be their child's "best friend" that they forget they are supposed to be "PARENTING".
Thank you John for breathing a breath of wisdom, humor, and common sense into a world that sorely needs to hear it. I am with you all the way. Keep up the great column. Looking forward to the next one.
P.S. I have a good friend with 5 children starting at age 12 and working down from there. She reads your column too and thinks you are the greatest. They are leading by example, using good common sense and being what you and I would call "good parents".
Date of Email: 3-21-07
John's advise, along with our own parents, has made raising our 5 year old daughter a pure joy! We were a bit older when she was born (Mom 40, Dad 43. Adopted, knows it and no big deal, certainly not defined by it). We had the advantage of watching many other children being raised, good and bad. We knew what we did and didn't want to see happen with our child. She knows when we say no, it is no! From time to time I have said to her, "When Mommy says no do I change my mind?" She will smile and say, "No you don't." Issue over. I have to say in the beginning it would have been easier to say "yes" but the more we stood firm the easier it became.
We also stress the respect for adults, particularly grandparents. When we visit she is to go immediately and say hello and/or hugs before going off to play. We remind her that when she visits our older neighbors if she behaves and uses good manners she will be asked to stay longer and be asked back more often.
Our biggest challenge is to stay the course! Sometimes I see us slip but we read the column or remember what our parents did and we get ourselves back on track.
P.S. She was potty trained at 2! Never a pull-up used.
Date of Email: 3-19-07
Name: John Rosemond's "biggest fan,"Diane M. Yelencsics
Comment:
Raising my twin boys has been pretty much stress-free due to the fact that I started to use John Rosemond's book, Because I Said So, when they were only four years old. Now, almost thirteen, I'm more than ready for my sons’ challenging “tween” years having his book, Teen-Proofing, close at hand. I am giving John Rosemond all of the credit for my sons’ positive behavior along with the stability of our family.
By implementing John Rosemond’s parenting strategies your children will not only benefit, but so will the relationship with your spouse. His knowledge seems to strengthen the bond between every member of your family. It's never too late to give your child/family the discipline and direction they truly deserve.
"got Rosemond?"
Date of Email: 3-19-07
Name: Tom & Bev Wintheiser
Comment:
As the parents of seven and grandparents of 13, and proud of all of them, let me congratulate you on your common sense advice on parenting. Your column on kids who have made "bad choices" was particularly well done. Taking responsibility for ones actions is so basic to civilized living.
Date of Email: 3-12-07
Name: Jane
Comment:
I am a 65 year old grandmother who raised her children in the late 60's thru the mid 80's. Reading your weekly column has been wonderful for my ego. I now know I was a great Mom. My mother and mostly my mother-in-law were so critical of everything I did for my children, with my children, discipline, etc. My mother-in-law even suggested I loved one child more than the other! She, of course, was speaking from her own mothering! I spoiled my children, yes, however, they knew "no" meant NO.
My son and daughter have wonderful parenting skills, and needless to say I'm quite proud of them and my grandchildren.
Date of Email: 3-2-07
Name: Kristin
Comment:
I just wanted to thank you for the great potty training method ("Naked and $75"). I used it with my
daughter, starting shortly after her 2nd birthday, and she was potty trained in a week. Not using Pull-Ups is the key, I believe. My friends are all dumbfounded that she trained so fast. They said I was just lucky. Most of them started around 18 months of age and finally had the child trained around the 3rd birthday. They all used Pull-Ups and couldn't figure out why the child was not motivated to learn. Thanks for the great method.
Date of Email: 3-4-07
Name: Jamie
Comment:
I was at a conference in Jacksonville over the weekend and got the priviledge to hear Dr. Rosemond speak on three different occasions. I am going to implement his methods into my life with my family. He is an excellent speaker! Everything he said was very relevant to my life. Thank you!!!
Date of Email: 2-28-07
Name: Sherry
Comment:
I've been applauding your no-nonsense approach to parenting for years, especially after I
became a parent. Your column on 2/20/07 regarding co-sleeping and discipline problems that often accompany it simply made me laugh out loud, right there at my kitchen table. Not in jest, but because someone finally came out and said it! Your columns--both the questions from parents and the answers you give--make me laugh, shake my head and comment to myself "that's a great idea!". My husband and I attended your seminar in Jacksonville, FL, at our church a few years ago, we still refer to 'the seasons' of parenting. Good stuff! May God bless you always.
Date of Email: 2-1-07
Name: Alex
Comment:
I personally wanted to thank you for the article you wrote, "Video Game Addiction ..an Increasing Problem." It appeared as an article in the Parenting section of the Providence(RI) Journal Newspaper, Sunday edition.
As a public school guidance counselor for the last twelve years, having worked with every grade level, I have grown more and more concerned with the addictive qualities of Video Games. One can say that my generation has witnessed first-hand the evolution of video games - from the original Pong, to Atari up to the present day virtual reality gaming systems. And I admit for a time I was addicted to video games - and didn't realize it until it compromised my schooling, work and relationships. I am proud to say I flung it out the window and have since reinvested my energy and efforts in family, photography and music.
However, I think society is still unaware and uneducated about the potential for Video Game Addictions. Parents seem to think that if their children are home safe and obviously not engaged in illegal risky behaviors such as alcohol, drugs or sex, that they are okay. They don't see the subtle decline in creativity, affect, or simple thought processes. They don't contribute the declining grades, lack of motivation ("laziness") and overall drop in affect to potential addiction.
I often encourage parents to monitor video gaming as intently as they do the child's diet, sleep, hygiene, and time spent watching TV. When I meet with parents and learn that the child is playing video games with very little parent supervision, I strongly encourage them to restrict the amount of time a child plays VGs. Their response is, "Forget about it. He/she will go nuts." I have to walk a very fine line in suggesting that their kids are possibly addicted to VGs. I challenge the parents to take away the VGs and observe their child's behavior. Then I ask them if the behaviors are similar to that of a person who has just had their drink or cigarettes or coffee taken away.
In my opinion it is a very big issue that is going unnoticed because it is legal. Perhaps, too, is the sad reality that their parents may be addicted as well. I hope a lot of parents and educators read the article. I personally have it posted on my office door.
Date of Email: 1-25-07
Name: Cheryl
Comment:
Thank you for confirming everything that I have every believed about parenting. For many years the Lord has continuously reminded me of Romans 12:2 (not to conform to this world). Last night I realized that he was specificly instructing me with my children. I have two girls: 16 and 13. I am very "old school" in parenting, and I'm blessed to have a husband who shares my position. We are united, and our girls know it. It's so easy to let the world make you feel like you are failing --- especially when you are not part of the "feel good" parenting club. Thank you, and I'll see you at Good Shepherd in March!! God Bless!!!
Date of Email: 1-1-07
Name: Amanda
Comment:
I love the Rosemond website's membership area. I have had it for 4 years now, and I always get compliments about how "lucky" we are to have such well-behaved children. Our "luck" has been a gift from your staff and reminders that what I am doing is right and helping answer questions from things I am just not sure about. Thank you!
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www.rosemond.com...in touch with common sense.
All content Copyright 2007-2009, John K. Rosemond. Please seek permission before using any material contained on www.rosemond.com.
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