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Beaujolais Beaucoup

July 8, 2021

Bear with me for a moment. Prior to saying what I have to say, I need to make perfectly clear that unless the person in question is one of my children or grandchildren, I do not care one iota if someone with both X and Y chromosomes claims to be a person with two XX chromosomes, or vice versa. Thus, I am not transgender phobic, by any definition of phobic, no matter how loosey-goosey. Thinking someone is either stupid, self-dramatic, deranged, or a new breed of sociopath is not synonymous with fear and trepidation.

Now, what I have to say, or, more accurately, ask: Why is there such general caution in the media when it comes to talking about a group of people who represent less than one percent of the population? The question arose when I read an article about one CeCe Telfer, a man who says he is a woman. Telfer has been allowed to compete in and win NCAA women’s track and field events, by the way. In said article, Telfer is identified as an “openly transgender woman.” But Telfer is not a woman. He is a man, and no claim of his to the contrary can override that immutable fact. No force on the face of the earth can change the fact that his cell nuclei, from birth, contain both X and Y chromosomes. He should be identified as a man who is attempting to convince people he has a valid claim to being a woman. If Telfer actually believes he is a woman, which has not been determined, then there is something sadly wrong in his thinking. The same can be said for people who believe that Telfer’s claim is truthful.

In my politically incorrect estimation, Telfer is an openly messed-up dude. Let’s face it, folks, either Telfer is openly messed up or I am. Those are the only two options available. Actually, there is a third option: Telfer is putting everyone on and having the grandest time doing so. If that’s the case (which I doubt), I applaud his sense of satire.

Talking with a like-minded person (politically conservative with certain libertarian tendencies, Christian, great sense of humor, especially regarding the absurd, fairly intelligent, techno-challenged) the other day, the subject of a white human being claiming to be a black human being came up. Oh, no! That won’t be allowed, now, will it? No, no, no. That is “cultural appropriation” and, as such, not permissible, even racist. Even though changing one’s skin color would require fewer genetic alterations than changing one’s sex/gender, woke will never be that woke. If I claim to be a woman and begin wearing women’s clothes and makeup, I’ll be hailed on CNN and “The View” as “courageous.” But if I claim to be a black bluesman, a non-binary mob carrying pitchforks and torches will promptly assemble outside my house, demanding that I publicly repent my racist ways or suffer tortures and punishments too gruesome to be described in a blog that might be read by cisgendered children.

(And by the way, I do a better imitation of a black bluesman than Telfer does of a woman. CLICK HERE and I’ll prove it to you. Yes, that’s me, in the guise of my alter-ego, black Mississippi Delta bluesman Beaujolais Beaucoup, singing his signature theme song, “Because I Said So,” written by Beaujolais himself.)

Maybe actress Shirley MacLaine has the lowdown on this transgender thing. MacLaine claims that she enjoyed a past life during Earth’s Lemurian Period (also, her dog was an Egyptian god, but that’s another story). Lemuria existed before Atlantis, for you ignoramuses out there. During said past life, MacLaine was both male and female, as was everyone else. Duh! Then someone came up with the idea of separating the male force from the female force and that’s what they did and that’s how we Earthians went from one all-inclusive gender to two distinct genders. THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE! MacLaine and Telfer should get together because MacLaine is right about this—and I have no good reason to doubt her, do you?—Telfer is simply on a mission to try and lead us back to the way things should have been all along! He’s not transgender, he’s a messenger who’s come to us from the original paradise of Lemuria, where everyone was everyone else!

Boy, am I glad I finally figured that out. Aren’t you?

Copyright 2021, John K. Rosemond


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