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Who Is This Fao-Chee Guy Anyway?

April 22, 2021

The name Fao-Chee will go down in infamy, I predict. Who is this guy? Where did he come from? What qualifies him, above all other medical scientists, to tell us, the sovereign American people, what we can, cannot, should, and should not do? Before March of last year, had you ever heard of him? I had not, and I am reasonably well informed. These are the questions that flood my brain when I hear his name.

First, Fao-Chee tells us that masks aren’t going to be necessary as long as we practice social distancing. Then he tells us that we will have to wear the infernal devices for two weeks only. Then, he informs us that masks are mandatory. Most recently, he has informed us that we should be wearing two, even three masks. (Full disclosure: I do not and will not wear one and if told by some store employee that I cannot buy things from said store without wearing a mask, I simply say, “Thank you very much and have a nice day!” and leave. Furthermore, I walk into stores and right by signs saying MASKS REQUIRED! without a mask. Required by whom? In only two stores – Costco and Trader Joe’s – have employees told me I “must” wear a mask. In both stores, I have said, cheerily, “No, I don’t. I can leave, which I will. Have a nice day!”)

Anyway, back to Fao-Chee. Now he is telling us, the sovereign American people, that even if we are vaccinated – which I am with no lingering effects other than the entire right side of my body no longer works – we should not be in close quarters with other people, even if they, too, are vaccinated and cannot move the right sides of their bodies. Oh, and of course, he says we should still wear masks. Two or three of them at a time.

My wife and I live in downtown New Bern, North Carolina, just so you know. Come see us sometime! Anyway, we are in thrall to a fifteen-year-old Toy Schnauzer named Mazie, aka the Monkey of Love. Numerous times in the last month or so, as I am walking the Monkey, both of us mask-less, someone (a masked person) walking toward us has veered off the sidewalk and out into the street and then, once we have passed, back onto the sidewalk.

I simply look down at the Monkey of Love and say, “He voted for O’Biden, Mazur.” She simply nods her little Schauzer head.

What are these people thinking? Answer: They are thinking what Fao-Chee and the other left-wing scaremongers want them to think. They are thinking that everyone without a mask represents a threat and that the esteemed Covid Master Fao-Chee is akin to a king who must be obeyed. The fact is, no consistent body of research confirms the efficacy of either social distancing or mask-wearing and states which have eliminated both requirements have experienced significant drop in infections. Furthermore, Fao-Chee has no authority. He was not elected by the people to anything.

Nonetheless, he just keeps right on spewing his lies. Why? Because enough of us listen to him and obey. Not me.

Copyright 2021, John K. Rosemond

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