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Why I Am a Racist

May 13, 2021

After much soul-searching, I have decided it is my moral responsibility to any and all who read this blog or whatever it is to inform you that I am a racist. Furthermore, I don’t know what to do about it, really, since any public act of penance might well get me hauled off in a stainless-steel straitjacket.

How am I a racist? Let me count the ways.

First, my mother’s family owned a rather prominent plantation in the Low Country of South Carolina. The land was given them by the king of England for the purpose of growing stuff they then sent back to the mother land. Mom spent part of her childhood there, in fact, and remembers the family being evicted for not paying – not being able to pay is more accurate – the property taxes. Anyway, I refuse to apologize or even feel the slightest twinge of guilt for something done by my ancestors. That makes me a racist, a white supremacist, even.

Second, a portrait of the ancestor who founded the plantation hangs above the mantel in our living room. It is a family heirloom, of course, and he was a rather handsome man. It is the perfect addition to the antique décor of our modest home. I like it, it’s a sure-fire conversation starter, and I have no intention of taking it down and burning it to signal my guilt and repentance. Once again, I have no guilt. That makes me a racist, a white supremacist, even.

Third, I am a constitutional conservative politically and a biblical conservative when it comes to my faith. I am informed by authoritative sources such as CNN and the Washington Post that being a Christian and a conservative in both senses makes me a racist. Since CNN and the Washington Post are completely objective sources of news and opinion, I believe them. I am a racist and wish to thank them for opening my eyes to my true and truly depraved condition.

Fourth, I love Tucker Carlson, Ben Shapiro, Candace Owens, and Greg Gutfeld, to name a few fellow racists. In my humble estimation, they are insightful, articulate, and often very funny. Gutfeld is beyond very funny, in fact. He qualifies as hilarious. Even though Ms. Owens is black, my fealty to her, Carlson, Shapiro, and Gutfeld qualifies me as a racist. Ms. Owens, by the way, is actually a white supremacist. I’ll let you figure that out.

Fifth, and I will leave it at five, I believe that the primary objective of the leaders of Black Lives Matter is to destroy the Constitution, foment anarchy, and secure absolute powers for themselves. They aren’t the slightest bit interested in improving anyone’s lives but their own, as evidenced by the four expensive homes now owned by the co-founder of BLM, the combined value of which is approximately six million dollars. She admits she bought the properties with money donated to BLM, mostly by guilty white people. Anyway, facts don’t matter. Right?

Wrong. If one thinks facts matter, and I do, one is a racist. Needless to say, well, you get my meaning, I’m sure.

In the last “election” – I put the word in quotes because I am a racist – one out of four black voters voted for Donald Trump. Black folks haven’t voted that strongly for a Republican presidential candidate since, well, a long time ago. Yet, CNN and other leftist propaganda organs claim that Trump is a racist along with anyone who voted for him. I voted for him and I think an honest count of legitimate votes would reveal that he won an electoral landslide. That makes me a gullible, racist, conspiracy theorist who, in AOC’s opinion, should be rounded up and sent to an “educational” facility. I must admit, all of this is very confusing to me.

It won’t be long before confusion becomes racist. Wait and see.

Copyright 2021, John K. Rosemond

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